Your self-bully is, indeed, your worst enemy! And the defeat is exactly what your unhealthy ego wants you to feel...

Let's be honest for a moment, shall we? Nobody wanna die, even those of us who lived a meaningful and fulfilling life, and who are not afraid to die.

Same thing applies to your sick ego/false-self/the creation of your invasive subconscious program written by someone else... The fierce resistance is legitimate! Being aware of it and taking action despite the discomfort is the keyword!

"Taking one's responsibility to change what we were not responsible for creating in the first place -- our subconscious program -- is probably the highest level of strength and wisdom."