Wow I'm in awe of your unquestionable talent but, most importantly, exquisite vulnerability, humility (while sharing feeling like a hypocrite, which a manipulative guru would NEVER express), and courage! Your ex-boyfriend is the only loser in the story, frankly! And You'd always be better off alone than with an immature and non-accountable individual. Whether inherently good or not, it doesn't matter; the harm is the same!