Valuable insights you're having here! You reminded me of my answer to the very first question of the Proust Questionnaire:
"What is your idea of perfect happiness?"
Before answering this question, I need to admit that I became allergic to the word “perfect”, given I am a recovered perfectionist! This being clarified, I tend to make the difference between joy, happiness/fulfillment, and wholeness.
* Joy: pure moments of connecting with the inner child! It takes nothing fancy or extraordinary. A tiny plant growing out of sidewalk cracks, some magic bond with an animal in the street, a beautiful rainbow — you name it — can be a trigger to feel a sudden joy! The secret is the ability to wander and be present so that to enjoy the simplest things.
* Happiness/fulfillment: the product of having reconnected with the servant leader in us and of being on a noble mission that goes beyond ourselves instead of chasing a self-serving goal and “success”. The mission does not have to be as big as saving the world from a pandemic. It only needs to be principled and is the manifestation of our “Spiritual Intelligence”. Inspiring a person or making their day through a simple free act of kindness does the trick!
* Wholeness: feeling whole goes beyond happiness. It is the fruit of an individual and a group investment at the same time. Our part is re-writing our invasive subconscious program so that we move back to our secure attachment style and unleash the servant leader in us. Thus, we become what we call an interdependent individual.
When I am physically interdependent, I know that I can do any physical task alone. But, I also recognize that you and I, working together, could do much better than, even at my best, I can accomplish alone. If I am emotionally interdependent, I am emotionally healthy and self-reliant, but I also admit my need for sharing the love. If I am intellectually interdependent, I can recognize that our analytical skills put together could take us to the farthest places I would have never been able to reach alone!
The difference between interdependency and wholeness is the other party's contribution, except for the spiritual dimension!
