Those ones are called “covert” narcissists and they’re fan of the victim position indeed! I wrote two pieces some time ago about all the types of the NPD (the most dangerous one being the malignant narcissist; even more dangerous than the psychopath; some experts call him “sadistic psychopath). The covert are also dangerous on our sanity even if they’re not fully disconnected from their conscience. Some of them can be very close to the malignant on the continuum, though! I can share both articles, should you be interested! And I know exactly what you’re Talking about, since they do exist in my close circle as well and the only way to protect one’s sanity while we’re still in the middle of the painful transformation journey is EDUCATION! You need to know all the abuse and manipulation strategies so that so can act accordingly! I can recommend some excellent YouTube channels for the purpose!