This is such a very well thoughtful and written piece, dear Darshak! So well done!!! 👏👏👏 I loved your vulnerable story and I'm applauding you for having eventually made peace with the accident and forgiven your cousin!
This being said, I need to admit that I'm definitely into forgiving and letting go, but not into the positive affirmations and quick fixes (like going to the gym).
From my own experience, mapping some positive affirmations could work until a trauma happens. Tricking our system could work until our coping mechanism is not available anymore. They are reversible because they are only tools. And tools don't transform; they only numb.
Should you be interested, I wrote this piece about the positive affirmations: "What Makes The Positive Affirmations Work Perfectly for Narcissists?" de Myriam Ben Salem https://link.medium.com/uFrhTUvficb
What I believe in is the real transformation of re-writing our subconscious program and destroying our limiting beliefs about ourselves making our expectations unhealthy in the first place.
And when it comes to grief or sadness or disappointment or any other hard feeling, I believe in honoring it, understanding it, going through it and staying with it as long as required in order to release it in a healthy way.
Regulating our emotions when it's a small incident is a kid game and takes no time whenever we have already taken care of re-creating the synergy between our two brains or what many are called developing our emotional intelligence.
But when it's about grieving a long-term relationship where there was tons of imbalance and injustice, healing the scars will take way more time even when we gift them and our souls forgiveness!