Thanks gosh you’re still alive, dear Jan! 😂
Actually, I know what you meant and that’s the truth because distorted life-time of conditioning is the reality of the major part of the human beings living on this planet-- whether the caregivers are merely emotionally imbalanced kind souls who were conditioned themselves and didn’t know they needed to work on their patterns before considering having kids, or character-disturbed individuals from the Cluster-B classification to don’t deserve the peivilege to raisong kids, given chances they admit something is wrong with them at all tend to zero.
You can call it a generational curse, which can always be broken! That was the whole point about my feedback! 🌞
We grow 1. arrogant/emotionally unavailable/distant (dismissive avoidant), 2. clingy and dramatically attracted by the first type of insecure attachment (anxious preoccupied), or 3. hypervigilent to others emotions & moods, very empathetic with no boundaries-- what we call the empaths-- (fearful preoccupied) because we needed to adapt to the conditional or inconsistent love we were given from our parents!
We also built numerous shields against our profound shame of never feeling good enough, given our intrinsic worth was discriminated against by our caregivers. Some of them are hurting us, namely pleasing, achieving, keeping secrets, withdrawing, unability to act vulnerable, etc. Other shields hurt the people we’re interacting with, that is cruelty and downgrading others, using formal authority or social status or money to secure our ends at others' expense, cheating, discriminating, and the list goes on! The purpose is the same for both groups: protecting the fragile unhealthy ego and getting the illusion of some external worth…
In other words, to break the curse, there are two main ways:
- It starts with the future parents awakening so that they can seriously work on their program; thus, raise emotionally healthy kids and duture adults. It needs to be supported by an adapted educational system. I imagined it and published it here. Should you be interested, let me know and I’ll share it with you!
- It’s too late and we’re already adults. That’s when we need to re-parent ourselves and destroy all our limiting beliefs about ourselves and the world. I’m only one proof among many kind-hearted folks who are the secret weapon to reverse the system! They only need to start being aware of it and pay the price of admission!
P.S. thaaaaaaaanks for the uplifting and moving compliment, my friend! 🙏💙🙏