Sure thing! But if our self-bully is cruel (too common for those who have been conditioned to believe they're never good enough) and most importantly lacking the much required psychological education, we errouneously tend to believe we "must" be the problem while all that we're doing is being attracted to the same profile of insividuals which is clearly explained by the attachment theory that I love! I used to be way too familiar with your description! The Fearful-avoidant folks are also called "disorganized" (emotionally) for a good reason: they are the combination of two opposite poles. On one hand, they crave connection and intimacy and give all of themselves to the relationship while naively gifting their trust and expecting others to "mind-read" them like they brilliantly learned to do as a coping mechanism to avoid chaos in their households. On the other hand, after a while of giving without receiving (reciprocation), resentment builts up and they start feeling betrayed and disappointed and suddenly blow up and then become cold. What makes the situation even worse is that the kind of people they're subconsciously attracted to are emotionally unavailable in most case scenarios! So, yes, until we begin to realize the trap and do the reprogramming, the cycle will never end! 💙