Oh my dear friend! It seems to me the highest level of awareness and grief can go hand in hand when backed by intention!

When we are grieving a delusional life, hope and the dream of a healthy relationship, no matter the level of pur self-awareness and self-love, the feelings created by the imbalance are real and need to be honored, I believe!

Here are some confessions I shared with Diana a few days ago, and I will re-share with you given the context:

"The Universe has been so compassionate with me! I was not sure what made me commit to the transformation and re-writing my f*cked up subconscious program without digging and looking for what created my limiting beliefs in the first place, until some time ago!

The former fragile me wouldn't have been ready to manage her dysfunctional family system reality, forgive and avoid feeling shame and guilt, should she have figured it out immediately post the re-birth & the 3-month first healing phase to gain some strength preceding the real work on the subconscious program!

When discovering my residual savior pattern following months of fierce battles in a trial to save the abused victims, I started my grief. It wasn't until having to give up on a toxic friendship (resulting in writing this piece https://medium.com/know-thyself-heal-thyself/did-you-ask-yourself-why-some-friends-are-like-magnets-2839d0993c2) that I concluded my grief was still mixed with "hope" and that my acceptance was not fully authentic...

As ironic as it may sound, I am grateful to that friend since she triggered the "radical acceptance", and with it the harshest grief (highest levels of sadness and disgust). At the same time, it contributed to finishing the work of destroying my rescuer pattern (not yet done!).

The day that I will completely stop believing in potential and investing so much precious time and energy on individuals who never asked for becoming antifragile will mark the end of the process... "