Oh boy, my heart is aching for what you've been through, my friend... If I may, I just wanna say something: NOTHING and I say nothing from what you'd have said or done would have been the right thing. Your mom was, unfortunately, tge kind of people who have a shallow emotional world. Validating them when using the victim card (I'm sure we all know so many sick people who are so grateful they're rather an inspiration to the non-physically sick folks) would merely provide her with an instant gratification but would have never been meaningful... You did absolutely nothing wrong and have NOTHING to regret! 💙