My sweet friend, I'm back to focus on the trauma part this time... I can't be thankful enough to the Universe for the beautiful humans your siblings and you turned to be! 💙💙💙

I hope you don't mind what I'm about to add since it could be uncomfortable... Our world sucks and is cruel beyond limits not because of the perpetrators, abusers, manipulators, bullies, evil... On their own, they wouldn't do much...

The inherently good folks have much to do with it, sadly... that group of people who can care about nothing but themselves, who lack empthy (if they have any at all), who are entitled and would exploit everything and anyone wouldn't be that powerful and destructive, shouldn't they have been ENABLED!

Their flying monkeys who clean up their shit, forgive them, and give them a million chances they never deserved are deepening the issue and empowering them to abuse and manipulate more victims. Codependency is dangerous. Niceness is NOT goodness. It harms way more than it truly serves anyone.

I like to use a simple example for the purpose:

We are a group of people. One person attacks one of us in a passive aggressive way out of the blue and leaves straight away. Everybody knows it wasn't okay and we exchange uncomfortable looks. One of us, the toxic positivity champion, interrupts the awkward silence, "he didn't mean that! He's having a bad day... can we pretend this didn't happen and move on?"

Was that a nice thing to do? Maybe... Was it a good thing? 1 MILLION PERCENT NO! Not only was the target of the attack hurt by the unfair aggression. They were also gaslight causing a double-hurt! By cleaning the abuser's shit, the flying monkey deepens the hurt instead of acknowledging the experience of the victim, make them doubt their reality and implicitly impacts their self-worth. They did much worse than the perpetrator with all the good intentions in the world. The ice on the cake: they enabled the bully to inflict more harm on others in the absence of any accountability...