In love with this vulnerable and mesmerizingly brave piece! I feel you, my friend, especially when it comes to attracting emotionally unavailable and antagonistic partners! Understanding our own patterns namely our attachment style (the unhealthy bond we formed with our caregivers) will drastically help getting our relationships nonsense! When it comes to antagonsistic personalities like NPD, BPD, and co., even if we may undersrand their games and mediocre ways of dealing with life and relationships (which are merely transactions and supply sources even with their own kids), the soul and inner child will ALWAYS struggle in making sense of the evil! It's because that's how it's supposed to be in all likelihood! Sending much healing love in your direction! 💙