I feel for you, my sweet friend, and I'm so sorry for your heartaching...💙

If I may, what you're describing sounds a lot like my dismissive-avoidant ex boyfriend (the one before the malignant narcissist who is not even considered as an ex partner).

He used to be a very good dude, and still is since we are friends. Nonetheless, as a huge part of his coping mechanisms is developing the intellectual brain over the emotional one. Interestingly, it directly impacts the emotional availability.

No matter how good-hearted he is, the lack of synergy between his two brains and, most importantly, of self-awareness makes developing emotional intelligence very difficult, if possible at all.

Without this wondrous skill, it is unlikely that your boyfriend could understand what you're talking about at an emotional level even with the highest IQ, I'm afraid...

I might be wrong, but that's at least the impression I had and thought of sharing with my friend in complete transparency!

Sending much love, healing energy and bear hugs in your direction! 🤗💙🤗