I can also understand it intellectually even though my heart and spirit NEVER will, and maybe it is supposed to be this way for a very simple reason:

In dysfunctional family systems (mainly narcissistic), kids can be subjected to all kinds of abuse and manipulation; the most dangerous on their sanity being subtle psychological abuse.

Nonetheless, within the same system, some kids choose darkness and transform into future perpetrators, while others turn to be the most empathetic beings who would never hurt any living organism. That is to say, it's all about "free will". HURT DOES NOT EXCUSE HURT.

"Some of the kindest souls I know have lived in a world that was not so kind to them. Some of the best human beings I know have been through so much at the hands of others, and they still love deeply; they still care. Sometimes, it’s the people who have been hurt the most who refuse to be hardened in this world because they would never want to make another person feel the same way they felt. If that isn’t something to be in awe of, I don’t know what is." ~ Bianca Sparacino