How adorably and eloquently expressed my friend! Love how you put it; bravo! I talked about the very same thing some time ago but in a far less beautiful way:

"It is important to understand that emotionally imbalanced people are kind-hearted. Their imbalance is easily fixed whenever they become aware of it and commit to doing their homework — rewiring their subconscious program.

Their style of interacting with their environment is predominantly influenced by their fears, insecurities, and the defenses they mount to protect themselves from any emotional pain.

Their insecurities’ nature is healthy. They are coming from some pure willingness to be better human beings in all circumstances.

But, because they don’t know, in most cases, how to heal their emotional scars, and reconnect again with this original being — basically, because of denial & lack of knowledge, they frequently feel bad about themselves:

Typically, when something reflects negatively on their character; being very connected to their “conscience” — the Principles — even if it is not their center yet.

Being empathetic people is also the main criterion involved in how they feel about themselves when screwing things up. Thus, they can be too quick to self-loathing.

Most of the time, they are unable to process their feelings in a healthy way. Their self-talk comes from a place of shame, not guilt. I will not be able to explain the difference better or even close to how the brilliant Brené Brown did:

The difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the difference between “I am bad” and “I did something bad.” Guilt = I did something bad. Shame = I am bad. For example, let’s say that you forgot that you made plans to meet a friend at noon for lunch. At 12:15 P.M., your friend calls from the restaurant to make sure you’re okay. If your self-talk is “I’m such an idiot. I’m a terrible friend and a total loser” — that’s ‘shame’. If, on the other hand, your self-talk is “I can’t believe I did that. What a crappy thing to do” — that’s guilt. Here’s what’s interesting — especially for those who automatically think, you should feel like a terrible friend! or A little shame will help you keep your act together next time. When we feel shame, we are most likely to protect ourselves by blaming something or someone, rationalizing our lapse, offering a disingenuous apology, or hiding out. Rather than apologizing, we blame our friend and rationalize forgetting: “I told you I was really busy. This wasn’t a good day for me.” Or we apologize half-heartedly and think to ourselves, Whatever. If she knew how busy I am, she’d be apologizing. Or we see who is calling and don’t answer the phone at all, and then when we finally can’t stop dodging our friend, we lie: “Didn’t you get my e-mail? I canceled in the morning. You should check your spam folder.” When we apologize for something we’ve done, make amends, or change a behavior that doesn’t align with our values, guilt — not shame — is most often the driving force. We feel guilty when we hold up something we’ve done or failed to do against our values and find they don’t match up. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, but one that’s helpful. The psychological discomfort, something similar to cognitive dissonance, is what motivates meaningful change. Guilt is just as powerful as shame, but its influence is positive, while shame’s is destructive.”

In a trial to regulate their moods and self-esteem level, emotionally imbalanced individuals engage in quick fixes such as positive affirmations mapping, exercise, food, hanging out with friends with a preference for shallow talks instead of real and vulnerable ones — pretty much any kind of instant gratification — you name it!

In some cases, though, they can experience toxic and unwarranted levels of shame. Their psychological baggage could reach some extremely high levels. They could have been abused by troubled individuals for a long period of time — narcissistic parents or partners for instance.

Their defense mechanisms (i.e. denial) could become increasingly inadequate or begin to break down, letting the emotional pain underneath them rise to the surface.

Consequently, they could experience some chronic and persistent depression — sometimes even commit suicide when it becomes impossible for them to cope with the seemingly unbearable pain.