Aw, luv! How mesmerizing it always is to know there is someone somewhere in the world who effortlessly understands and values what most fellow humans are stil oblivious to! 💙

Indeed, no matter how seemingly unbearable this reprogramming and shadow work endless journey might feel, it is the most rewarding physical experience I could have ever asked for! If I got a chance to start over, I wouldn't change a tiny detail from my Traumatic history!

I know that I'm still very far away from my 4 dimensions balance. I had a fantabulous record of numerous magical synchronicities with humans happening everywhere I go (tons of which in Brazil where I went volunteering with my first furbaby who adopted me for 3 months, an experience that I can describe as horrible and wondrous at the same time) up to September 2021 when I started volunteering for the stray kids in Tunisia and discovered the 5th layer of my rescuer pattern (the 4 first ones being related to humans and which I destroyed to some extent).

Boy, it was gut-wrenching in the very beginning... Grieving one loss felt like I was physically dying... I got better and way more effective over time by rewiring the narrative from, "I am responsible for saving all of them" to, "I love them unconditionally and would love to give all of them a second chance, but I am only one human, can only control what I can control, and promise to honor the memories of those I had the honor to know and send my love to all those who departed in misery or who are still struggling around the globe without having met them. I like to believe they will be called to much better missions after their hell in this one life."

Appealingly, no matter how much progress I made in my self-regulation process, having been grieving way too many losses in Palestine daily (and some of my protegees in Tunisia) for 11 months has been bringing tons of heaviness and depleting my limbic nervous system... I think there isn't enough time to process way too many instances of grief without leaving too much blocked energy to heal... The good news is that the inner peace, passion, the warm & good tears of happiness for others or fulfillment from witnessing a tiny impact didn't go anywhere!

I am exhausted, though, from time to time (lacking sleep and nutrition, too), and my very survival is threatened right now... I know I must be doing something very wrong... I guess I have some new lessons to learn, and I am searching for my Universal messages! 💙🦋✨️